March 11, 2024

Remembering our son.

Today, March 14, 2023, we honor the life of our son, 
Matthew Isaac Eastman.

17 years ago, the Lord allowed us to walk through the most heartbreaking experience of our marriage, our family, our lives.

On March 10, 2006 my OB/GYN looked at me with sad eyes and softly stated, “You have miscarried.”

On March 14th, I delivered the lifeless body of our son.

Never has my heart felt such anguish.
Never have I wept with more intensity.
Never have I felt such lack of control.
Never have I felt so - alone.

But the Lord met me in that hospital room.
In the late, dark, silent hours of the night, I cried out,
“Lord! This has to be bigger than me!
I am not the first woman to lose a child, and I will not be the last.
So I will not ask ‘Why?’
I will ask ‘What?’
What are You going to do with the death of my son?”

And He has faithfully answered that question for 17 years.
Starting with,
“It’s not about you.”

And I have never been the same.

“May those who fear You rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in Your word.
I know, Lord, that Your laws are righteous, and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.
May Your unfailing love be my comfort, according to Your promise to your servant.
Let Your compassion come to me that I may live, for Your law is my delight.”
Psalm 119:74-77